So left and right I look, I see all these kids I went to high school with getting married. Some to their high school sweethearts, others to people I didn’t even know they were dating. Most of these people are just acquaintances, small shutters in my earthquake life. I am kind of jealous, but at the same time, I am relieved. My wonderful boyfriend and I don’t need to be married to tie the knot. The people my age cannot even drink on their wedding day! (Something I find quite important! haha). And what is next then, having babies so young? I don’t want that. I want to enjoy the time I have with my man people I have little ducklings to look after. I think the reason why I’m jealous is because these couples get to be together, day in and day out after they are married. Are they ready for it? Can they afford it? 

All I want is to be with him everyday. The distance is practically unbearable.

Every Monday I post on a discussion board for school. Tuesdays I work. Wednesdays  I work and see my boyfriend. Thursdays I work and think about writing an essay. Fridays I drive to Maine and go to a Youth Worship group. Saturdays I open at work, then go from that job to a pool hall. The time between Saturday and Sunday I write the essay. And Sundays…well…I waste time on Sundays.

My weeks are starting to look too alike. I do not like it Sam I Am.

I need an outlet for my, often boring, life.

• 1: What are you wearing?
  A Beatles Tee and some southern high school’s sweatpants, courtesy of a very handsome ex-football player.
• 2: Ever been in love?
  Currently. And it is the best kind of love in the entire world.
  It is the kind of love no one thinks exists anymore. The kind of love that gives people faith in love again. Yes, I am that confident in our love.
• 3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
  What breakup is not terrible? If it isn’t terrible, were you two sleeping the entire time? Yes. I have had a few terrible breakups. One was the day before freshman year. Another was because I could not stand long distance. And the last terrible one was because although long distance was okay, he was about as deep as a bottle cap.
• 4: How tall are you?
  I am tall enough to ride any ride at a theme park. I am short enough to stand on the tips of my toes just to kiss the love of my life. I can see over the steering wheel, but the sun visor is no help at sunset. I am tall when I feel beautiful, and I am small on rainy days. I stand tall in front of God, but I am a child in his eyes. 
• 5: How much do you weigh?
  More than a chicken, less than a cow. I guess how much I weigh depends on whose heart you ask. How much do your friends weigh on your heart?
• 6: Any tattoos do you want?
  I want to finish an infinity tattoo I have on my back.
  I want a decorative “this world still has love” quote on my left side. And I want to get one someday, just for the hell of it.
• 7: Any piercings that you want?
  Tragus, and nose.
  When I am skinny, I want under my collarbones too.
• 8: OTP?
  Noah and Allie.
• 9: Favorite Show?
  How I Met Your Mother, Cartoon Network
• 10: Favorite bands?
  Tom Petty, Pink, and anything that hugs my soul.
• 11: Something you miss?
  Arizvegas.
• 12: Favorite song?
  BRAD PAISLEY - SHE’S EVERYTHING LYRICS 
• 13: How old are you?
  20
• 14: Zodiac sign?
  Aquarius
• 15: Hair Color?
  Brunette
• 16: Favorite Quote?
  Many are destined for great things,
  No matter how tattered, or hopeless the path may seem.
• 17: Favorite singer?
  My boyfriend.
• 18: Favorite color?
  tumblr blue.
• 19: Loud music or soft?
  Crazy monkey sex or delicate lovemaking.
  Both, just at different times.
• 20: Where do you go when you’re sad?
  To a quiet place inside a book.
• 21: How long does it take you to shower?
  about 15 minutes.
• 22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
  Roughly outside of a half an hour
• 23: Ever been in a physical fight?
  A girl bit me in preschool for taunting her. Physical fights are for the literally challenged. Words hurt worse.
• 24: Turn on?
  my boyfriend’s: neck, calves, kisses, touch, and merely the thought of him when he is away.
• 25: Turn off?
  bad breath, mention of Justin Bieber, when you are kissing-etc. and something on tv makes a weird noise or a funny joke.
• 26: The reason I joined Tumblr?
  It was forever ago, I have absolutely no idea. Online journaling?
• 27: Fears?
  Losing Him, My future self won’t be as awesome as I want her to be, those creepy all white masks that only have cutouts for the eyes and nose holes…-shivers-
• 28: Last thing that made you cry?
  Something Air 1 said. but before that a more monumental one was a Chuck E Cheese commercial…
  I was on my period.
• 29: Last time you cried?
  Well, I teared up yesterday.
• 30: Meaning behind your url
  I believe that everyone experiences inspiration. I believe inspiration is a moment in time that stands still and activates ideas that you may never have had if you were anywhere else or doing anything else. Kind of like, you are right where you are supposed to be. In those moments, someone can either acknowledge an inspiration, or disregard it. People that acknowledge are generally very creative. Others that disregard this inspiration, claim they don’t have it. 
  “and then the world stood still” is just a phrase for those moments when you decide what to do.
• 31: Last book you read?
  Experiencing the World’s Religions
• 32: Last song you listened to?
  Eye of the Tiger, Survivor
• 33: Last show you watched?
  Newhart with my boyfriend’s mom. Cheesy galore.
• 34: Last person you talked to?
  Last person I texted: boyfriend
  Last person I TALKED to: mom
• 35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
  I am dating him. He is the man beyond my wildest dreams.
• 36: Favorite food?
  The king you put in your mouth that tastes good.
• 37: Place you want to visit?
  Bahamas, Arizona, Las Vegas, Carpinteria, CA, Caribbean, Hawaii.
• 38: Last place you were?
  Limington, ME
• 39: Do you have a crush?
  Nope, I have a love.
• 40: Last time you kissed someone?
  About 10 Hours ago.
• 41: Last time you were insulted and what was it?
  Something about being mean?
• 42: What color underwear are you wearing?
  comfy color-grey.
• 43: What color shirt are you wearing?
  white and lacey
• 44: What color bottoms are you wearing?
  sweatpants for the win!
• 45: Wearing any bracelets?
  no- only bracelet I wear is a hairtie, and it is currently in use.
• 46: Last sport you played?
  Ultimate Frisbee, what what.
• 47: Last song you sang?
  God gave me You.
• 48: Last prank call you remember doing?
  I don’t recall.
  Sad, considering it is April Fool’s.
• 49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
  About 12 hours ago.
• 50: Favorite movie?
  Moulin Rougue

People tell me, “you are a good writer.” 

And yet, when I sit down to write for myself… nothing seems like enough.

No combination of letters seems significant enough for this big world.

Nothing in my life is news.

I am just the girl who made that cool  army graphic one time.

Even though my job is making graphics…most never see.

I don’t wanna be famous, I just want to know that completely strangers know what I am going through.

None of my friends know this account.

So 7 people in the universe can relate to me?

Well… I guess that makes me more fortunate than some…

Even though crackheads have thousands of commonalities.

Being normal is not normal.